Stanley Siegel, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, author, international lecturer, and former Director of Education at New York’s renowned Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy. With over 36 years of experience, Siegel has developed an unconventional and highly regarded approach to psychotherapy. Stanley's latest book, "Your Brain on Sex: How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life" is out now!
Life Strategies
Fantasies and Gender

Fantasies and Gender

Research has shown that sexual fantasies differ along gender lines. In general, because of many social influences, men and women tend to think about sex differently. Women more commonly connect sex with love, while men more frequently detach sex from affection and experience it as recreational. Men’s fantasies tend to objectify women and emphasize body...
What Do Our Fantasies Say About the Past?

What Do Our Fantasies Say About the Past?

Where do our fantasies and erotic images come from and what do they tell us about the deeper nature of who we are? We have been led to believe that our sexual fantasies are random imaginings, but nothing could be further from the truth. At their base lies fragments of our history, conflict, and strife...
The Advantage of Sex

The Advantage of Sex

Sex is an affirmation of life. By making sex a prominent part of it—placing it on the top of our list of priorities—it helps us face daily challenges in other parts of our lives. No matter what struggles there are, we put them aside and establish a time and place to embrace desire and pleasure....
What Attracts You?

What Attracts You?

It’s not always easy to grasp the complexity of our sexual attractions. Much that of what happens is invisible. The following exercise will help identify those specific characteristics and traits in others that excite the deeper psychological and spiritual aspects of our sexuality—those that create the feeling of chemistry. Here’s an Observational Exercise: The next...
Why Smart Sex is Better Than Great Sex

Why Smart Sex is Better Than Great Sex

I have been a psychotherapist in New York City for thirty-five years. During this time, I have counseled innumerable patients. In nearly every case, regardless of whatever problem that led someone to seek therapy, the conversation will inevitable turn to sex. Some patients express disappointment over the amount of sex in their lives, some are...
Cracking the Code of Sexual Chemistry

Cracking the Code of Sexual Chemistry

“Sexual attraction is not at all a purely physical event. The soul is always in search of whatever will complete its desire, and our physical eyes are never separate from the eyes of the soul.”  -Thomas Moore We’ve all had the experience of seeing someone on the street or in a social setting and feeling...
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